在異國的悲情城市，看一齣電影

那年我剛成為小一新生，某日阿爸心血來潮，興奮地帶全家去台南市的統一戲院，看那部才剛得到威尼斯影展金獅獎的台灣電影，那年的台灣驕傲。

《悲情城市》，1989年。

對總跟著阿爸看動作片的全家人來說，侯孝賢的靜止長鏡頭以及大量的沉靜太深，而片中的228事件以及白色恐怖太遠，戲演一半，阿爸忍不住吆喝大家：「看攏無，來蹬！」全家大概只有大我四歲的大姊心有未甘地離開戲院，對我來說，離開那個黑暗安靜的房間是一種解脫。

2010年，第二次看《悲情城市》，我即將滿三十一歲，在馬尼拉這個1200萬人口的大城市生活、遊走、流離、安頓；學習、參與社會運動，觀察對照台灣，累積將來回家後與同胞努力奮鬥的能量。

電影中的九份很單純、很乾淨，蜿蜒在山頭的黃泥土路盡頭是海、是灣、是島，一切影像都籠罩在白白的霧以及老片所沈積的雜質當中，是很適合靜靜地聽故事的氣氛。對於故事中的歷史事件，我不再陌生，那是我一直所熱衷探求的，也是我希望分享給菲律賓人民們的。何以歷史上有許多共同點、地理上最相近的兩個國家，對於彼此的了解會如此的稀少和單薄？台灣歷史所流下的眼淚和鮮血，都可以在菲律賓找到痕跡，只不過我們的傷口如今看似結痂、漸漸癒合，但他們的血淚仍在流倘。在街頭上埋鍋造飯的一家人、媒體上被綁架失蹤的社運人士、報告中仍和大地主爭取生存權的無地農民、談話中腐敗無能的艾若憂政府……只要睜開眼睛，悲情無所不在。而在兩次FOI(Freedom of Information)遊行、於菲律賓眾議院旁聽FOI法案、3/8婦女節的大遊行、蘇比克灣對抗暴虐韓國造船廠Hanjin的工運代表、即將發生的菲律賓大選……等畫面中，我也看到了一張張為社會不公不義挺身而出的堅毅臉龐。

能在這樣一座城市生活，對我來說是好的。我已經確定了下次與朋友的Film Night聚會要播的台灣電影了。


照片出處: http://www.v8mo.com/news/yingshi/2009/0926/6574.html

Let's fight with a Filipino granny for her life and dignity

Dear all,
Let's do something to help Nanay Uday. (Mama Uday) Thanks a lot!



(Forwarded from Reggie Aquino)


From: Reggie Aquino
Date: Thu, Feb 25, 2010 at 3:19 PM
Subject: Nanay Uday

KAISAHAN, 24 February 2010


Earlier today, our office received two visitors. A couple. The man, is Melchor Pollas, dearly referred to by everyone in the CARP Extension campaign as Tatay Kurokoy. The woman is Zenaida Pollas or Nanay Uday to friends. They both hailed from Brgy. Talibayog in Calatagan, Batangas.

Two years ago, Nanay Uday was one of the valiant farmers who walked from Calatagan, Batangas to Manila to advocate for the passage of the CARP Extension with Reforms (CARPER), a bill that is now RA 9700. She was also active in their land case regarding the incursion of a mining company in their agricultural land. She braved the scorching sun, the truncheon wielding police and 2 months of camping outside the gates government agencies to peacefully petition government to hear their grievance.

Fast forward to today, Nanay Uday bravely fights another battle. She is struggling with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.I'm not very familiar with medical terminologies but when I read through her documents and clinical abstracts and repeatedly came across the words malignant mass and diffuse large-B Cell Lymphoma, I knew then that she was suffering from cancer.

This cancer has taken its toll on her. The mass which started from her nose, has now engulfed almost her entire face. The gentle features of this earth's steward was now lost in that huge lump of something unrecognizable and lamentable. As she was crying, only the flutter of her eyelashes revealed to me that was where her left eye used to be. Her right eye and nose were not visible anymore. On top of that, she has lost a lot of weight as eating is difficult. But when I talked to her, I sensed the same peace and quiet, the same resilience she demonstrated in fighting for social justice.

For the past 5 months, they have been coming back to two public hospitals here in Manila and they have only gotten as far as having the tests done. Meanwhile, the cancer is spreading, literally eating her up. She needs to undergo 9 chemotherapy sessions and if possible operation but the family is financially incapacitated to shoulder medical expenses. And the couple, both in their mid 60s are now unable to work and provide for expensive medical care. Their children shells out what little money they can spare, but they are also hard up.

The sight of Nanay Uday's condition wiped off the smile i was wearing all morning. The usual jovial KAISAHAN atmosphere turned grief stricken. My heart breaks to see Nanay Uday hide behind a towel, embarrassed by her condition. I wanted to tell her she has no reason to feel that way. That if there's anyone who should be ashamed it would have to be this government who steals from the country's coffers, fattening their pockets at the expense of quality health care for people like her.

It is bad enough that she is stricken by a disease that deprives her of living a life she deserves but it is however, criminal that she is robbed of her fighting chance because she is poor and the government that is supposed to provide quality health care continues to be unperturbed about the plight of millions upon millions of Nanay Udays in this country.

I would like to appeal to the people, if we could somehow help give her back that CHANCE, THAT CHANCE TO FIGHT CANCER WITH DIGNITY. Maybe you know of a doctor, a hospital, a politician, a philanthropist, a foundation who might be able to help her. Or maybe you can shell out whatever you can. Or maybe you have better ideas...like my friend Tomas (Step Juan) who's now on a Walking Expedition of the Country to raise awareness on Cancer.

I appeal to those whose lives have been particularly touched by these farmers...to our friends at OSCI, SLB, COSCA, Adamson boys, brothers, sisters, fathers, bishops, legislators, AR friends. To my mountaineer and patintero friends; high school, college and MA classmates; to friends from other countries, other political persuasions and religious beliefs...I'm knocking at your hearts...

Whatever help you can extend her will be greatly appreciated. Just send us at KAISAHAN a message and I will reply.

Thank you very much!

Reggie Aquino
Policy Advocacy Officer, KAISAHAN
aquirage@gmail.com


kind and friendly Nanay Uday


Nanay Uday is an active participant in Agrarian Reform movemnt.


Suffering Nanay Uday needs help to fight for her life and dignity

請幫助一位勇敢與病魔奮戰的菲律賓奶奶

Dear all,

我是方智勇，目前在菲律賓馬尼拉的NGO (Focus on the Global South)實習，昨天，一封轉寄信讓原本心情愉快的我陷入了憂愁。有一位今年六十幾歲的農民奶奶Zenaida Pollas目前正受到「非何杰金氏淋巴瘤」﹙non-Hodgkin's lymphoma﹚的摧殘，佔據她大半個臉的巨大腫瘤已經奪走了左眼的視力，因為臉的嚴重變形使得她難以進食，原本消瘦的身形變得更加單薄。Zenaida Pollasc和丈夫Melchor Pollas都是來自鄉下的農民，即使生活困苦，仍長期投入農業改革運動，與其他仍受到貪腐政府和大地主壓迫的農民站在一起，為農民的生存權和尊嚴奮鬥。由於Zenaida Pollas的積極貢獻以及和藹可親的人格特質，大家總是親暱地稱呼她 Nanay Uday-烏 黛媽媽。如今烏黛媽媽病倒了，原本開朗輕切的面容如今遮蔽在毛巾後面，顯得憔悴窘迫。她不需要為自己變形的面容感到窘困，該覺得丟臉的是貪腐的政府，不但 沒有提供全民均可負擔的醫療服務，還因為與大地主、跨國礦業公司官商勾結，將農民逼上絕路。各位朋友，菲律賓離我們其實很近，烏黛媽媽就像是台灣農村裡堅 毅善良溫暖的老奶奶一樣。希望我們能幫助她，一起勇敢尊嚴地對抗病魔。如果有任何朋友能幫助，不管是醫療還是捐款，請跟我連絡。以下轉寄一封來自菲律賓農 民運動組織KAISAHAN的求助信。謝謝你們耐心閱讀。祝 平安！

From: Reggie Aquino <aquirage@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Feb 25, 2010 at 3:19 PM
Subject: Nanay Uday

KAISAHAN, 24 February 2010


Earlier today, our office received two visitors. A couple. The man, is Melchor Pollas, dearly referred to by everyone in the CARP Extension campaign as Tatay Kurokoy. The woman is Zenaida Pollas or Nanay Uday to friends. They both hailed from Brgy. Talibayog in Calatagan, Batangas.

Two years ago, Nanay Uday was one of the valiant farmers who walked from Calatagan, Batangas to Manila to advocate for the passage of the CARP Extension with Reforms (CARPER), a bill that is now RA 9700. She was also active in their land case regarding the incursion of a mining company in their agricultural land. She braved the scorching sun, the truncheon wielding police and 2 months of camping outside the gates government agencies to peacefully petition government to hear their grievance.

Fast forward to today, Nanay Uday bravely fights another battle. She is struggling with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.I'm not very familiar with medical terminologies but when I read through her documents and clinical abstracts and repeatedly came across the words malignant mass and diffuse large-B Cell Lymphoma, I knew then that she was suffering from cancer.

This cancer has taken its toll on her. The mass which started from her nose, has now engulfed almost her entire face. The gentle features of this earth's steward was now lost in that huge lump of something unrecognizable and lamentable. As she was crying, only the flutter of her eyelashes revealed to me that was where her left eye used to be. Her right eye and nose were not visible anymore. On top of that, she has lost a lot of weight as eating is difficult. But when I talked to her, I sensed the same peace and quiet, the same resilience she demonstrated in fighting for social justice.

For the past 5 months, they have been coming back to two public hospitals here in Manila and they have only gotten as far as having the tests done. Meanwhile, the cancer is spreading, literally eating her up. She needs to undergo 9 chemotherapy sessions and if possible operation but the family is financially incapacitated to shoulder medical expenses. And the couple, both in their mid 60s are now unable to work and provide for expensive medical care. Their children shells out what little money they can spare, but they are also hard up.

The sight of Nanay Uday's condition wiped off the smile i was wearing all morning. The usual jovial KAISAHAN atmosphere turned grief stricken. My heart breaks to see Nanay Uday hide behind a towel, embarrassed by her condition. I wanted to tell her she has no reason to feel that way. That if there's anyone who should be ashamed it would have to be this government who steals from the country's coffers, fattening their pockets at the expense of quality health care for people like her.

It is bad enough that she is stricken by a disease that deprives her of living a life she deserves but it is however, criminal that she is robbed of her fighting chance because she is poor and the government that is supposed to provide quality health care continues to be unperturbed about the plight of millions upon millions of Nanay Udays in this country.

I would like to appeal to the people, if we could somehow help give her back that CHANCE, THAT CHANCE TO FIGHT CANCER WITH DIGNITY. Maybe you know of a doctor, a hospital, a politician, a philanthropist, a foundation who might be able to help her. Or maybe you can shell out whatever you can. Or maybe you have better ideas...like my friend Tomas (Step Juan) who's now on a Walking Expedition of the Country to raise awareness on Cancer.

I appeal to those whose lives have been particularly touched by these farmers...to our friends at OSCI, SLB, COSCA, Adamson boys, brothers, sisters, fathers, bishops, legislators, AR friends. To my mountaineer and patintero friends; high school, college and MA classmates; to friends from other countries, other political persuasions and religious beliefs...I'm knocking at your hearts...

Whatever help you can extend her will be greatly appreciated. Just send us at KAISAHAN a message and I will reply.

Thank you very much!

Reggie Aquino
Policy Advocacy Officer, KAISAHAN
aquirage@gmail.com

慈祥和藹的烏黛媽媽


烏黛媽媽的身影總是出現在爭取農民權益的活動中


正與病魔搏鬥的烏黛媽媽

"Formosa Betrayed"-Message from Producer Will Tiao

(The article is from the Formosa Betrayed website mailing list, to sign up, please go to Formosa Betrayed. )

Dear Fellow Taiwanese and Friends,

First, thank you for signing up for our mailing list! We hope to use this to connect with our fans around the world.

This coming weekend, February 26-28, a new movie about Taiwan will be coming to theaters. Formosa Betrayed is the first American film to ever deal with US-Taiwan relations and explore the issues of democracy, identity, and justice during the White Terror period in Taiwan. The movie was largely funded by Taiwanese all over the United States and Canada, who invested over $6 million into the film. This makes Formosa Betrayed one of the largest pro-Taiwan projects ever funded by the overseas Taiwanese community. Most of these investors are not wealthy -- they are people like yourselves -- hard working individuals who came to America to provide a better life for their children.

I am one of those children.

My parents are from Kaohsiung, Taiwan. While growing up, they taught me to call myself "Taiwanese," not "Chinese". This caused them much hardship, which included being put on a blacklist. Some of their friends had worse things happen to them. In some cases, people were killed.

The Taiwanese people have suffered at the hands of many over the last century, but these stories have rarely been told or heard. As a second generation Taiwanese American, I feel it is my duty to educate my generation, as well as the world, about the struggles and suffering of the Taiwanese. We cannot allow our country's history and our people's hardships to be forgotten. Once that happens, it only becomes a matter of time before it is repeated. This is precisely why I spent the last five years of my life working on Formosa Betrayed.

As the turbulent reaction to President Obama's recent arms sale to Taiwan shows, US-China-Taiwan relations are still a hot button topic that is greeted by fleeting interest, faint support, or --worst of all-- indifference by the American media. I am hoping the release of Formosa Betrayed will help spur greater awareness and wider discussion about these important matters in the United States and abroad. The Taiwanese people deserve to have an equal voice in affairs related to our country's future. We cannot sit quietly and allow others to decide our fate. This is why I am urging you to see Formosa Betrayed with your children, family and friends. Not only will this movie educate our youth about our country's embattled legacy, it will instill in them a sense of pride in their heritage and identity as Taiwanese. Additionally, your support of this film will tell the world that the Taiwanese people have a voice and we are demanding to be heard. No one else is going to do this for us. We must do this ourselves and we must do this now.

A Mandarin version of this letter is attached below along with a new flier with up-to-date theater locations.

Thank you for your time and interest. GO TAIWAN!!!!!

All the best,

Will Tiao

President, Formosa Films

Producer, Formosa Betrayed

"被出賣的台灣"(Formosa Betrayed)-來自製片人刁毓能(Will Tiao)的訊息

(原文轉自"被出賣的台灣"網站群組信)

親愛的台灣鄉親︰

本週末，也就是2月26日到28日，一部關於台灣的新電影就要在美國的戲院上映了。「被出賣的
台灣」(Formosa Betrayed )是美國電影界破天荒第一部講述美台關係，並探討台灣追求民主，
及白色恐怖時期的公平正義等議題的電影。這部電影的資金大部份募集自全美國和加拿大的台
灣人，他們總共投資了超過六百萬美元來支持這部電影的製作與拍攝。「被出賣的台灣」
(Formosa Betrayed )這部電影是海外台灣人挺台灣的籌資計劃中數一數二的壯舉。這些投資人
就像你們一樣，大部份是為了讓下一代有更好的生活而來到美國打拼。

我也是來美國打拼的台美人第一代的孩子。

我的父母來自台灣高雄。在我的成長過程中，他們教導我稱自己是「台灣人」而不是「中國人」。
他們的台灣人意識讓他們備嘗苦辛，包括成為被禁止回故鄉台灣的黑名單人物。更有一些他們
的朋友遭遇更慘痛的對待，甚至喪失了生命。

台灣人在上一個世紀迭遭苦難，但是這些斑斑血淚卻很少被傳述或聽聞。身為台美人第二代，
我深覺有責任教育我們這一代，更要告訴世間的人們有關台灣人掙扎奮鬥的歷史和他們遭受的
苦難。我們不能讓我們母國的歷史和國人的苦難被漠視、忘懷。如果忘記這一段斑斑血淚史，
未來必然還會重蹈覆轍。這正是我過去五年來致力於製作拍攝「被出賣的台灣」(Formosa
Betrayed) 的原動力。

最近由於歐巴馬總統批准對台軍售而引發北京的強烈反應，顯示美國-中國-台灣的關係仍是一個
燙手的議題，卻總是被一筆帶過或虛飾的支持表態；最糟的是，美國媒體也漠不關心。我殷盼
「被出賣的台灣」(Formosa Betrayed) 電影的上映，能幫忙針對這些重要的議題，在美國和
國際社會激起較大的關注和更廣泛的討論。在台灣前途這個議題上，台灣人理應有公平的發聲
權利。我們絕不能呆坐噤聲而讓別人決定我們的命運。正因為如此，我強烈呼籲您和您的子女、
家人及朋友一起去觀賞「被出賣的台灣」(Formosa Betrayed )。這部影片不但能夠教育年輕
一代了解我們母國所面對的荊棘，更能灌輸他們認同自己是台灣人並以台灣人傳統為傲。而且，
您們對這部影片的支持也等於告訴全世界，台灣人有話要說，台灣人要求他們的聲音被聽見！
沒有別人會替我們做這些事，我們必需自己動起來，而且我們必需現在就開始行動。

謝謝您的關切和支持。台灣加油！！

敬祝大安

刁毓能 (Will Tiao) 敬上
福爾摩莎電影公司(Formosa Films)總裁
「被出賣的台灣」(Formosa Betrayed) 製片人

誰知道明天世界還是否存在？

對於未來不確定性的篤定，讓他堅定地相信人生唯有存在當下才有意義。但這並不表示他不在乎未來。他曾經想像著有朝一日自己將有機會離開自己出生長大的國家，去看看外面的世界。這樣的動機一但得到出口，便一發不可收拾，如今他生活在他造訪的第十九個國家。曾經他問母親如果有機會出國，最想到哪個國家。母親回答說歐洲國家，如果沒辦法，日本也很好。他一直將母親的心願僅記在心，他告訴自己他將帶著母親走遍他去過的十四個歐洲國家。回到當下，他並沒有能力達成母親的心願，也無法滿足父親期望他賺大錢孝順父母的期待。他不著急，他讓情勢領著他前進，他專注在此刻他所能努力的，他相信一點一滴的成就累積終將達成所有他摯愛親友的想望。他的想法看似過度樂觀，但他怎能不樂觀？對於一個相信未來充滿不確定性的人來說，唯有樂觀看待當下，才能使自己生存。

從Tondo到Makati

你有沒有用塑膠袋大便過？

由於服務的組織(Focus on the Global South)將在2/14情人節當天與某天主教堂合作，在彌撒中替遲遲無法通過的資訊自由法案(Freedom of Information Act)宣傳祈福，我和同事今天跑了一趟Santo Nino教堂，任務是把宣傳的布條交給神父，順便跟他打個招呼。在Google地圖上查了一下，整個大馬尼拉市叫Santo Nino的教堂就有六七間，我們要去的這間位於Tondo，一個我陌生的地名。攔了一輛計程車，司機一聽要到Tondo，連忙搖頭加揮手說不載，我本來以為是因為太遠又不順路，經同事翻譯後才知道他朋友前幾天才在Tondo被搶，他不想冒險。怪怪，我在馬尼拉三個多月，不敢說走遍每個角落，但貧民區也看過了幾個，Tondo真的這麼恐怖？

第二台計程車的司機長相比較兇狠，身材也強壯許多，他答應接這筆生意。車子行經舊城區(Intromuros)，行經走訪過幾次的馬尼拉大教堂(Manila Cathedral)，路上出現了觀光區才有的kalesa(馬車)。在這個一千兩百萬人口的大城市，舊城區奢侈的寧靜和緩慢總讓人沈靜，舒服。

過了一座橋，世界變了，變得我自以為見多識廣的自傲也感到驚訝。

沿著馬尼拉港邊的大馬路，連綿又糾結了一團團的房屋，房子的計量詞當然不是團，但當一間間簡陋參差不齊又五顏六色左一塊水泥右一片木板樓上樓下不知住了幾戶的建築物突然出現眼前的時候，一團這個量詞是適合描述我的感官認知的。和其他貧民區一樣，孩子很多，有的在奔跑遊戲，有的掛在母親的肩上或者腳踏邊車上。赤腳是常見的，光著屁股的也所在多有。有大人穿著一件短褲在洗澡，有人在刷牙，社區籃球場上球賽正火熱…這切都在這條貨櫃車繁忙奔馳的港邊大道旁進行。視線中出現五個穿著”正常”的大人，一副遊客裝扮，有人肩上掛著單眼數位相機；眼神掃過他們的面孔，是韓國人沒錯。韓國遊客怎麼會出現在這種地方，我一廂情願地希望他們是來這邊訪問並奉獻的宣教團。車窗內是被冷氣吹的舒服的我，眼睛一刻不能移轉地看著窗外。突然地，在馳騁的車速中閃過了一個畫面。

一個小女孩光著屁股蹲在路旁，屁股套著一個紅白相間的塑膠袋。

她是否會成為那群韓國遊客「馬尼拉驚奇三日行」相簿中的供品，用以滿足來自有錢國家觀光客”深度體驗當地文化”偽善的自我感覺良好？ 又或者她可能從他們手上收到幾個銅板，不自覺地摧殘在困苦生活中若有似無的尊嚴？

終於到了Santo Nino教堂，不愧如同事所描述的：「很大」。教堂前方還有個叫做Leon Plaza的小廣場。這樣的場景不在巴黎或羅馬，而在馬尼拉。沿著教堂邊走向教堂辦公室，人行道上三三兩兩的人或坐或睡，這樣的畫面在馬尼拉很常見，不知為何，我總是特別觀察躺著的人的腳底。今天看到的畫面中，髒污爬上了路旁孩子的臉上，蒼蠅繞著孩子的臉，不受任何驅趕。 有一個媽媽正幫躺在腳踏邊車內的嬰兒換尿布，車內還有一些生活用品，看來這台邊車不僅充作嬰兒床，也可能是這對母女唯一擁有屋頂的”家”。一旁人行道上，厚紙板上躺在母親懷中的孩子，伸手抓取乾癟的乳房，母親正沈睡著。 穿過小庭院，進入教堂辦公室，世界恢復”正常”。辦公室整齊乾淨，還有一支吊扇送來陣陣的涼風。和同事進到神父辦公室， 空氣因少了刺鼻的尿騷味而”正常”，溫度因冷氣而變得”正常”。

任務達成， 我離開Tondo，前往Makati (對馬尼拉來說猶如台北的信義計畫區)，趁著回台灣過年之前幫朋友帶網拍的衣服。

傍晚的天氣變得舒服，我坐在Green Belt的戶外咖啡座，看著造景水池、點綴這片城市綠洲的棕梠樹、天空中一間間我租不起的高樓套房，放鬆，沈澱，喝著一杯台幣八十塊的冰拿鐵。走在不輸台灣任何一家mall的Green Belt 5，兩旁不再是一團團的房子，而是一間間格局方正窗明几淨色調儉約地上一塊大理石牆上一盞古典黃燈不知道陳列著多少件價值不斐衣飾的精品店。量詞，一間間。洗手間有專人駐點隨時清潔，洗手乳紙手巾皆有，個人隱私在廁所門後，安全舒服自在。找到朋友指定的羊毛衫，刷了三件，七千多塊台幣在卡片磁條瞬間感應中昇華，化成千里外三個人物質慾望和感官上的滿足。而我，也將因此而小賺一筆走路工。

此刻身處的國家，三分之一的人生活在每日生活費一美元的貧窮線下，四分之一的人被歸類為「近三個月內曾有挨餓經驗(不是故意的，是沒錢買食物)」的飢餓人口。貧窮，我看到了，但永遠也無法體驗。

Tondo和Makati，一個城市，一個國家，兩個世界。

哪一個世界正常？哪一個世界不正常?

照片中並非Tondo，而是另一個貧民區。

如果好奇可以殺死一隻貓，那寂寞應該可以殺死一隻大象。

如果好奇可以殺死一隻貓，那寂寞應該可以殺死一隻大象。

一個人是孤獨的，在一群人當中的一個人不孤獨，但可能寂寞。我在一個有一千兩百萬人的大城市，生活、工作、行走、探索，也體驗寂寞。

一個人喝酒是孤獨的，在充滿喧鬧嘻笑聲的bar喝酒不孤獨，但可能寂寞。我在一個酒跟水一樣便宜的夜生活都會，選酒、點酒、喝酒、醉酒，也痲痹寂寞。

寂寞，越加控制越無法自拔。

索性，

不再掙扎。

一覺醒來，又是新的一天。

或許重複昨天，又或許改變明天。

寂寞一直都在，習慣就好。

Angela攝